This is usually a calm space to discuss the normal things of life. Of course, what constitutes “normal” is incredibly subjective. What is normal for me is not normal for you. What is normal for me as a white, upper-middle-class, cisgender, white man is drastically different from the normal of most of the country. In this position of privilege I must be an ally, I must speak out against injustice.

Last night the horrifying video of the beating of Tyre Nichols at the hands of five police officers was released. I can only bring myself to watch small portions of it. I don’t want to see all of it, because the events of that night are disgusting. I don’t want to subject myself to that footage, yet this is what “normal” is for so many. Injustice. Beatings. Death. Murder. Murder at the hands of those committed to keeping the peace.

I thought Philando Castile’s murder near my home in Minnesota would be a turning point.

I thought Breonna Taylor’s murder at the hands of police who essentially carried out a home invasion on the wrong apartment would be a turning point.

I thought George Floyd would change things.

Nothing has changed.

Outrage at these murders and “backing the blue” are not mutually exclusive. You can support law enforcement and call for change. Personally, I fully support defunding the police. They have proven not only the existence of “bad apples” in stations around the country, but a growing and thriving of a culture of violence. They shoot first and ask questions later. In one case the very experienced officer couldn’t even tell the difference between the feel of a taser and a gun in her hands.

I know the majority of my readers are white suburban folks, and we’re largely detached from the reality of the black experience in America. Many of us are asking what we can do. Here are a few places to start.

Know their names. I was surprised how few of the names on this list I recognize. Some of these murders didn’t make national headlines. Take a moment to let that sink in. So many black men are murdered by police not all of them make headlines. That alone is enough to justify action.

Don’t ignore it. To ignore this atrocity is to give up any sense of love or care for people.

Learn. The American history we learned in high school is whitewashed, plain and simple. Seek out resources that provide a real picture of the black experience in America. Here are a few great places to start:

• How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

• Stamped From the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi

• Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

These are very heavy reads, so give yourself some grace as your eyes are opened to the reality of life in this country. Read slowly, process, and commit to the journey.

Allow room for grief. Now is not the time to reach out to your black friends. This murder - every murder - is deeply traumatic. Asking them to do the work for us is not only unnecessary, it can reopen fragile wounds.

Challenge your deep-rooted beliefs and assumptions about law enforcement. Look, I’m not asking you to adopt a full “defund the police” stance. I know this is a big ask. Centuries of carefully and intentionally engineered systems of oppression are difficult to see from the white suburban perspective. Many outright reject their existence. I beckon you to look at a different perspective.

Invite your community leaders to address police brutality. Many of you are Christians, and Christians tend to turn a blind eye to issues of race (admittedly this is a generalization, but this general approach is easily seen around the country). I am grateful to be part of a community of musicians at a local church. Even though I left Christianity, they welcome me with open arms, not just allowing me to use my musical abilities most Sundays, but contribute to this great group of people. While we don’t agree on some key things, I love and respect my leaders deeply and passionately. They embrace challenges to their perspectives, and I’ve had some wonderful conversations with them on what most consider to be controversial topics. Quite likely some of your pastors will take tomorrow as an opportunity to speak on supporting law enforcement. That very thing happened to me at my previous church in Minnesota, and I walked out. You may not feel comfortable walking out in the middle of a church service, but there are many ways to invite your leaders to consider a different perspective. Any leader worth the title will welcome the conversation. If they don’t, while drastic, it may be time to find a new community.

The Navigating Normalcy community is all about exploring the normal things of life. The tragic reality is police routinely murder black men, taking on the roles of judge, jury, and executioner, denying the very people they’re sworn to protect their assumption of innocence, right to a trial, and right to stay alive. This is normal. If we don’t challenge our thinking innocent people will continue to be beaten, knelt on, and murdered on the streets.